That's going to leave a mark...

See title.

Yep, that was video of the late Iraqi President himself spending his last 2:36 alive on earth.

Of course, as with most great video finds, it was first posted on Deadspin so I can not collect the finders fee.

Ok, talk to you all later, I have to go find a viking helmet for the game, I'm feeling like a viking helmet I haven't worn one drinking in quite a few years. Perhaps I'll paint it red to show my support for Wisconsin.

And Texas won against Iowa but did not cover -- that still doesn't mean I'm giving a pass to UCLA.

Awwww shit

Well it all started when I laid down my nice little five team parlay with a 6 point teaser (Hawaii, UCLA, Texas, Rutgers and Nebraska). That made Hawaii 0, UCLA +2, Texas -4, Rutgers - 1 and Nebraska +8.5. See, I don't play the ponies for the fun, oh hell it's definitely not for the fun, I play because I got my eyes on a prize a new 50 - 60 inch HDTV.

Mine will be without the oriental golfer, oh wait not when Tiger Woods is playing.

Because I need to get one now when I don't have to answer to anyone regarding where the money is going but myself. I want one for my home when I purchase it and if I can get one now, that just makes it all easier.

Well, you see we were fine with Hawaii, smoked Arizona State, because they were happy just to be out in Hawaii for Christmas. Talk about the beat down Rutgers put on K-State. Ah Texas, well they are playing Iowa who couldn't find their way out of a paper bag. Nebraska should be able to stay within a touchdown of Auburn. Which leads us to the fifth annual Emerald Bowl featuring the UCLA Bruins and the Florida State Seminoles.

You see a few weeks back UCLA managed to do something unfathomable, they held SC in check and won out in the rivalry game costing SC a shot at another national championship - and me more money (fuckers, it became a trend). But the issue does not lie entirely with UCLA, no the issue is with Florida State. Bobby and I are cool, he sent me a letter about four years ago, we are frat brothers. Bobby, I have never done you wrong, but seriously?!?!? 2006 FSU was and is not 1990s early 2000s FSU.

A blocked punt for a TD, an 60+ yard INT returned for a TD. UCLA was up by 7 at the half, tight game, back and forth and then I left Mike/Kroll/Dennis' house on the way home, that shit escalated quickly. I walked in my house and saw the WR for FSU BLATANTLY push off and knock down the DB, yet no call was made, oh did I mention he went in for the touchdown and FSU never looked back.

FINAL SCORE: FSU 44, UCLA 27 -- me out $400.

Gigity Gigity

It has come to my attention that there is a contest over at the best damn sports show. Something about voting, who cares, just go look! Ogle, it's what they are there fore; seriously don't complain to me that women are not sex objects if this is what they do.

Oh, you probably want that link too Hooters Best Damn Dream Girl! 40 somthing pictures, you can vote if you want too.

And the comment of the day at Deadspin is from Cowboycane who said: "She makes Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas look feminine. A more feminine tranny, sure, but still more feminine. That being said, I'd hit it. You wouldn't want to see what I wouldn't fuck."

Happy Friday

I will be back later with a few horrible gambling stories. This weekend entails three B's:

1. Beer/Captain
2. Babes
3. Buckey Football -- we are off to the Citrus Bowl



Just in case you are a world traveler and want to know the age of consent this comes from our friends over at Deadspin.



And you didn't think I would only post that as the cheerleader picture of the week did you? Enjoy!

Congragts to the guys over at Kissing Suzy Kolber for winning the Sports Blog of the Year award

FRUSTRATION! UGH! MOTHER F'ERS!

I mean come on, I am not one to, but I mean, what the????? Seriously you know who would be great together.

I mean, tell me these two are not perfect for each other. WE PLAY TO WIN THE GAME. Come on how hard is it to manage a fucking clock.

Yes, I am very frustrated that Herm has been unable to coach his team to more then a Field Goal in the Sunday night game. HERM so far, you have cost me $65 and that is just because you suck at the half. If you are unable to put points on the board, that will move the total closer to costing me $300. Yeah, that money could help with what I dropped on a nice young 18 year old stripper last week.

Herm you are fucking with my drinking and stripper money, uncool. Hopefully Kobe can come through for me like he did earlier in the week. Let's go Lakers; Kobe understands drinking and stripper money.

GO COACH ELI, YOU GUYS ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

Well, I could be studying

Just found this interesting pixilation deep down on the interweb.
They might be able to teach me soccer, and I might listen, well at least watch.

But seriously, if you are going to have someone spray paint your very nice breasteses for the whole universe to see, then why are you wearing little bitie binkini bottoms? Does the spray paint tickle too much when applied? Perhaps it rubs off when you move around? Well, you are a body paint model, stop moving so we can stare.

Happy Chanuka

Well the festivel of lights is now upon us once again. Quick story about Hanunka/Chanuka the oil was only supposed to last for one night, it lasted eight and now we have Hanuka/Chanuka. Jews at the time were re-dedicating the Temple in Jerusalem, damn Seleucid Empire always ruining shit.



Oh and I probably shouldn't have written down the fact that I was 14-2 from Saturday through Monday night. Gambling gods don't like bragging. Yeah, that was the cold streak that bitched slapped me.

Hot Streak

Well, I went 14-2 over the weekend (Saturday - Monday night), my only problem was that if I had known I was going to go 14-2 I would have put A LOT more down. Yeah, I got the Bucky guarantee from Lowry --- take Bucky and the over it's in the bag. WOW, pulling it out in the final minute. Some guarantee, but they won, so I can't complain.

Then the streak continued. I put some more down Tuesday night on Minnesota, they were hosting UCF and were favored by 4. Yeah that noise was me winning. Then I put a small piece of cake down on the Lakers and the over who were underdog by 2 at Houston, who is without McGrady.

UM YEAH CA MOTHER FUCKIN CHING!

Do you know what winning does? It gives me more drinking money and more money to blow on strippers! No, not blow for strippers but money for strippers.

Pop (1928 - 2006)

I got a phone call from Mom today (Friday) a little after 2PM and she left a voicemail, something she doesn't normally do; you know call in the afternoon and leave a voicemail. So when I saw she left a voicemail I knew something was not right.

You see my grandfather had been living in a nursing home for about the past four years. If he fell in the house, Nana would not be able to pick him up, she called 911 a lot. So sometime in 2002 Nana moved him from their condo into a nursing home, one of many. He tended to be a little corse sometimes. Beating a blind quadrapolegic who he said was dealing drugs. Citizens arrest!

You see the day my Mom found out she was to have a son, yours truely, Pop had a massive stroke, that was just 27 years ago. He would pick us up at school or temple and take us to practice, always asking if we wanted a mint. But with a stroke he lost the use of his left side so he would be driving and dig through his shirt pocket while not holding onto the wheel and then offer a mint. Something you had to see to belive. He would always come to swim meets or basketball games. It was interesting coaching my younger brother and having him sitting there on the bottom level of the bench trying to interject things.

I guess I am writing this becuse Nana said only nice things could be said about Pop at his funeral, which meant Pop prior to 1979. So that ruled out my cousin and I speaking because we only knew post stroke Pop. My uncle Rob spoke briefly, yep, it got a little dusty inside the Temple at that time, I'm not going to lie. Well, there were two Pop's, the one prior to 1979 and the one after. We (my brother, myself and my cousins) would always here about how Pop used to be after he would go on a rampage for something or other.

One time he called Opra a fat dumb broad, we laughed, Nana said "Herb don't say that" we all laughed some more.

So I am now in the process of looking for a temple to attend on Friday nights out of respect for him. I have the yortzit candle lit until it runs its course.

I dont know if any of the stuff you read makes sense, but I just needed a venue for it and I happen to have one.

UPDATE: I made it across the state from my house to Mom's in under 3 hours. No cops, on the way back cruising at 85 with 3 other cars. I was stopped by Sarasota County Sheriff. The bitch has no heart or compassion. Oh and I was geographically profiled you see the other cars were not stopped and they were local. I was from out of town.

Hey, cop whore, FYI I'm going to have the last laugh.

Orange Bowl at the Hard Rock

When I posed with Hammerin Hank Goldberg of ESPN tv and ESPN radio, I asked him about the head coach opening at The U and the Kosar rumor he said that Kosar is a nut job and his wife is trying to have him psychiatrically evaluated. Thanks Hammer that is some fine journalistic work there, how about the ponies this weekend? Oh you say I should take Barbaro? Sounds good to me, what could go wrong. Oh and a bonus, the seat I was sitting in the guy's laptop was open to wikepedia. Yeah great source work there.




That's right Obie, we can hope for a better match up next year, you know so I will want to go to the game. Henry and Obie enjoying a nice embrace, whoops Obie, where is that other hand of yours, Henry is married now! From the looks of it, Henry doesn't seem to mind.



That's right, this is the prize, a nice serving bowl full of fresh fruit served up to the winner. The mighty 73rd Orange Bowl Trophy. Flanked by Louisville and Wake Forest helmets, boy I bet the Orange Bowl Committee never expected this match-up in about 70 years since Duke played in one.



My autographed football and entry ticket. One signed by each coach. Bobby Patrino of Louisville on the tiny foam football and Jim Grobe's signature on the entry ticket. Yours if the price is right when you bid on my Orange Bowl tickets.
Four total, section 126, row 18 (endzone) nice seats too.

In other news the costume is about 80% completed & Santa Con is in less then 40 Hours!!! Drunken Driedel and drunken Santas!!!

Santa Con 06 - Bar Schedule

I have 66% of costume completed. Which means, I have painted the two boxes blue. I'll have pictures later. Who is ready to get their drink on? I AM!! THAT'S WHO.

Just a quick reminder that Santa Con is almost here, the festivities will be this Saturday December 9th. Here is the bar list, notice a few changes which allow us to keep the entire event in West Palm Beach. (all times are approximate- just follow the red fur and glitter down Clematis until you find us)

Bradleys- 2:30pm-4:00pm (bring a toy)
trolley to City Place
Brewzi Outside Bar 4:15pm-5:30pm
Blue Martini 5:35pm-6:30pm
Trolley to O'Sheas
O'Sheas 6:45pm-8:00pm
Bonds 8:15pm-8:45pm
Old Dax Bar (corner of Dixie and Clematis) 8:45pm-9:15pm
Nobles (old Rooneys Pub on Clematis) 9:15pm-10:15pm
Rock Fire Pizza (corner of Clematis & Flagler) 10:15pm-11:00pm
Bradleys 11:00pm-?

Get your costume, buy a toy and spread the holiday joy.

And Boom!

Yeah, those noises you heard, well one of them was the BCS computers blowing up and the other was the egg SC just laid in the Rose Bowl in their second consecutive appearance in Pasedena.

Well, let us see what Florida and their Coach Urban Myer and open up the playbook and expand their lead over Arkansas

Oh that and I need a Florida win for the ever popular drinking money!! Oh look at those tricky Razorbacks coming out with a short kick to start the second half -- look a live blog.

UPDATE: Florida wins its 7th SEC Title I won in the immortal words of Randy Moss straight cash homie

Tune into Fox tomorrow night to find out where the chips fell, all we currently know is that the road to Glendale is no longer paved with Trojans.

I will set the early line on tOSU - 10 v. UF, o/u at 46. You heard it hear first folks.

WHERE IS ERIN ANDREWS?!?!?!? I am really upset about that, she is very easy on my eyes

Thanks Deadspin

I knew MJD and the fine commenter folks over at Deadpsin would be able to answer my question. Much thanks and appreciation.

"Maybe someone out there can help with this question: In the Nissan commercials for the Heisman, I know what all the things chasing the truck correspond to a school, but what is the boulder?"

Turns out it is a "buckeye" whatever the hell that is anyways, and why we are at it, can someone tell me what a Hokie is too?

Thanks for the picture too, if you want you can go to Deadspin -- find this picture it's under Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3

Maybe I did not know that because I DISPISE tOSU, fucking criminals, like Clarrett did not have a car and hatchet prior to his freshman year; we know he had the car and hatchet when he got his goose on, but don't we all?

I would link to the post at Deadspin but I do not have time to figure out how to work the hyperlink in blogger beta, I knew I should not have switched over from the alpha dog. DAMMIT

Back to my exiciting paper on Donald Fehr, all we were told was 10-12 pages, grad school rocks!

Oh and GO SC win by 20 and and over of 42, it's all about the drinking money. We already have a Wake win and just need a UF win to win that parlay!!

Speaking of a Wake Forest win, anyone want to buy some Orange Bowl tickets? I have them in the endzone, section 126 and 131.

Happy Friday

Enjoy your weekend, live it up, I will be finishing a ten page paper on Donald Fehr, Executive Director of the Major League Baseball Players Association --- needless to say my weekend will be sober until I finish.

I would like everyone to welcome Tiffany to EPS Knows, she has been a Ben-Gal for two years now and is currently studying at Cincinnati State. Her goals are to finish college and make it to the Pro Bowl, let us all keep our fingers crossed!



ROAR!