That's going to leave a mark...

See title.

Yep, that was video of the late Iraqi President himself spending his last 2:36 alive on earth.

Of course, as with most great video finds, it was first posted on Deadspin so I can not collect the finders fee.

Ok, talk to you all later, I have to go find a viking helmet for the game, I'm feeling like a viking helmet I haven't worn one drinking in quite a few years. Perhaps I'll paint it red to show my support for Wisconsin.

And Texas won against Iowa but did not cover -- that still doesn't mean I'm giving a pass to UCLA.

Awwww shit

Well it all started when I laid down my nice little five team parlay with a 6 point teaser (Hawaii, UCLA, Texas, Rutgers and Nebraska). That made Hawaii 0, UCLA +2, Texas -4, Rutgers - 1 and Nebraska +8.5. See, I don't play the ponies for the fun, oh hell it's definitely not for the fun, I play because I got my eyes on a prize a new 50 - 60 inch HDTV.

Mine will be without the oriental golfer, oh wait not when Tiger Woods is playing.

Because I need to get one now when I don't have to answer to anyone regarding where the money is going but myself. I want one for my home when I purchase it and if I can get one now, that just makes it all easier.

Well, you see we were fine with Hawaii, smoked Arizona State, because they were happy just to be out in Hawaii for Christmas. Talk about the beat down Rutgers put on K-State. Ah Texas, well they are playing Iowa who couldn't find their way out of a paper bag. Nebraska should be able to stay within a touchdown of Auburn. Which leads us to the fifth annual Emerald Bowl featuring the UCLA Bruins and the Florida State Seminoles.

You see a few weeks back UCLA managed to do something unfathomable, they held SC in check and won out in the rivalry game costing SC a shot at another national championship - and me more money (fuckers, it became a trend). But the issue does not lie entirely with UCLA, no the issue is with Florida State. Bobby and I are cool, he sent me a letter about four years ago, we are frat brothers. Bobby, I have never done you wrong, but seriously?!?!? 2006 FSU was and is not 1990s early 2000s FSU.

A blocked punt for a TD, an 60+ yard INT returned for a TD. UCLA was up by 7 at the half, tight game, back and forth and then I left Mike/Kroll/Dennis' house on the way home, that shit escalated quickly. I walked in my house and saw the WR for FSU BLATANTLY push off and knock down the DB, yet no call was made, oh did I mention he went in for the touchdown and FSU never looked back.

FINAL SCORE: FSU 44, UCLA 27 -- me out $400.

Gigity Gigity

It has come to my attention that there is a contest over at the best damn sports show. Something about voting, who cares, just go look! Ogle, it's what they are there fore; seriously don't complain to me that women are not sex objects if this is what they do.

Oh, you probably want that link too Hooters Best Damn Dream Girl! 40 somthing pictures, you can vote if you want too.

And the comment of the day at Deadspin is from Cowboycane who said: "She makes Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas look feminine. A more feminine tranny, sure, but still more feminine. That being said, I'd hit it. You wouldn't want to see what I wouldn't fuck."

Happy Friday

I will be back later with a few horrible gambling stories. This weekend entails three B's:

1. Beer/Captain
2. Babes
3. Buckey Football -- we are off to the Citrus Bowl



Just in case you are a world traveler and want to know the age of consent this comes from our friends over at Deadspin.



And you didn't think I would only post that as the cheerleader picture of the week did you? Enjoy!

Congragts to the guys over at Kissing Suzy Kolber for winning the Sports Blog of the Year award

FRUSTRATION! UGH! MOTHER F'ERS!

I mean come on, I am not one to, but I mean, what the????? Seriously you know who would be great together.

I mean, tell me these two are not perfect for each other. WE PLAY TO WIN THE GAME. Come on how hard is it to manage a fucking clock.

Yes, I am very frustrated that Herm has been unable to coach his team to more then a Field Goal in the Sunday night game. HERM so far, you have cost me $65 and that is just because you suck at the half. If you are unable to put points on the board, that will move the total closer to costing me $300. Yeah, that money could help with what I dropped on a nice young 18 year old stripper last week.

Herm you are fucking with my drinking and stripper money, uncool. Hopefully Kobe can come through for me like he did earlier in the week. Let's go Lakers; Kobe understands drinking and stripper money.

GO COACH ELI, YOU GUYS ARE MADE FOR EACH OTHER.

Well, I could be studying

Just found this interesting pixilation deep down on the interweb.
They might be able to teach me soccer, and I might listen, well at least watch.

But seriously, if you are going to have someone spray paint your very nice breasteses for the whole universe to see, then why are you wearing little bitie binkini bottoms? Does the spray paint tickle too much when applied? Perhaps it rubs off when you move around? Well, you are a body paint model, stop moving so we can stare.

Happy Chanuka

Well the festivel of lights is now upon us once again. Quick story about Hanunka/Chanuka the oil was only supposed to last for one night, it lasted eight and now we have Hanuka/Chanuka. Jews at the time were re-dedicating the Temple in Jerusalem, damn Seleucid Empire always ruining shit.



Oh and I probably shouldn't have written down the fact that I was 14-2 from Saturday through Monday night. Gambling gods don't like bragging. Yeah, that was the cold streak that bitched slapped me.

Hot Streak

Well, I went 14-2 over the weekend (Saturday - Monday night), my only problem was that if I had known I was going to go 14-2 I would have put A LOT more down. Yeah, I got the Bucky guarantee from Lowry --- take Bucky and the over it's in the bag. WOW, pulling it out in the final minute. Some guarantee, but they won, so I can't complain.

Then the streak continued. I put some more down Tuesday night on Minnesota, they were hosting UCF and were favored by 4. Yeah that noise was me winning. Then I put a small piece of cake down on the Lakers and the over who were underdog by 2 at Houston, who is without McGrady.

UM YEAH CA MOTHER FUCKIN CHING!

Do you know what winning does? It gives me more drinking money and more money to blow on strippers! No, not blow for strippers but money for strippers.

Pop (1928 - 2006)

I got a phone call from Mom today (Friday) a little after 2PM and she left a voicemail, something she doesn't normally do; you know call in the afternoon and leave a voicemail. So when I saw she left a voicemail I knew something was not right.

You see my grandfather had been living in a nursing home for about the past four years. If he fell in the house, Nana would not be able to pick him up, she called 911 a lot. So sometime in 2002 Nana moved him from their condo into a nursing home, one of many. He tended to be a little corse sometimes. Beating a blind quadrapolegic who he said was dealing drugs. Citizens arrest!

You see the day my Mom found out she was to have a son, yours truely, Pop had a massive stroke, that was just 27 years ago. He would pick us up at school or temple and take us to practice, always asking if we wanted a mint. But with a stroke he lost the use of his left side so he would be driving and dig through his shirt pocket while not holding onto the wheel and then offer a mint. Something you had to see to belive. He would always come to swim meets or basketball games. It was interesting coaching my younger brother and having him sitting there on the bottom level of the bench trying to interject things.

I guess I am writing this becuse Nana said only nice things could be said about Pop at his funeral, which meant Pop prior to 1979. So that ruled out my cousin and I speaking because we only knew post stroke Pop. My uncle Rob spoke briefly, yep, it got a little dusty inside the Temple at that time, I'm not going to lie. Well, there were two Pop's, the one prior to 1979 and the one after. We (my brother, myself and my cousins) would always here about how Pop used to be after he would go on a rampage for something or other.

One time he called Opra a fat dumb broad, we laughed, Nana said "Herb don't say that" we all laughed some more.

So I am now in the process of looking for a temple to attend on Friday nights out of respect for him. I have the yortzit candle lit until it runs its course.

I dont know if any of the stuff you read makes sense, but I just needed a venue for it and I happen to have one.

UPDATE: I made it across the state from my house to Mom's in under 3 hours. No cops, on the way back cruising at 85 with 3 other cars. I was stopped by Sarasota County Sheriff. The bitch has no heart or compassion. Oh and I was geographically profiled you see the other cars were not stopped and they were local. I was from out of town.

Hey, cop whore, FYI I'm going to have the last laugh.

Orange Bowl at the Hard Rock

When I posed with Hammerin Hank Goldberg of ESPN tv and ESPN radio, I asked him about the head coach opening at The U and the Kosar rumor he said that Kosar is a nut job and his wife is trying to have him psychiatrically evaluated. Thanks Hammer that is some fine journalistic work there, how about the ponies this weekend? Oh you say I should take Barbaro? Sounds good to me, what could go wrong. Oh and a bonus, the seat I was sitting in the guy's laptop was open to wikepedia. Yeah great source work there.




That's right Obie, we can hope for a better match up next year, you know so I will want to go to the game. Henry and Obie enjoying a nice embrace, whoops Obie, where is that other hand of yours, Henry is married now! From the looks of it, Henry doesn't seem to mind.



That's right, this is the prize, a nice serving bowl full of fresh fruit served up to the winner. The mighty 73rd Orange Bowl Trophy. Flanked by Louisville and Wake Forest helmets, boy I bet the Orange Bowl Committee never expected this match-up in about 70 years since Duke played in one.



My autographed football and entry ticket. One signed by each coach. Bobby Patrino of Louisville on the tiny foam football and Jim Grobe's signature on the entry ticket. Yours if the price is right when you bid on my Orange Bowl tickets.
Four total, section 126, row 18 (endzone) nice seats too.

In other news the costume is about 80% completed & Santa Con is in less then 40 Hours!!! Drunken Driedel and drunken Santas!!!

Santa Con 06 - Bar Schedule

I have 66% of costume completed. Which means, I have painted the two boxes blue. I'll have pictures later. Who is ready to get their drink on? I AM!! THAT'S WHO.

Just a quick reminder that Santa Con is almost here, the festivities will be this Saturday December 9th. Here is the bar list, notice a few changes which allow us to keep the entire event in West Palm Beach. (all times are approximate- just follow the red fur and glitter down Clematis until you find us)

Bradleys- 2:30pm-4:00pm (bring a toy)
trolley to City Place
Brewzi Outside Bar 4:15pm-5:30pm
Blue Martini 5:35pm-6:30pm
Trolley to O'Sheas
O'Sheas 6:45pm-8:00pm
Bonds 8:15pm-8:45pm
Old Dax Bar (corner of Dixie and Clematis) 8:45pm-9:15pm
Nobles (old Rooneys Pub on Clematis) 9:15pm-10:15pm
Rock Fire Pizza (corner of Clematis & Flagler) 10:15pm-11:00pm
Bradleys 11:00pm-?

Get your costume, buy a toy and spread the holiday joy.

And Boom!

Yeah, those noises you heard, well one of them was the BCS computers blowing up and the other was the egg SC just laid in the Rose Bowl in their second consecutive appearance in Pasedena.

Well, let us see what Florida and their Coach Urban Myer and open up the playbook and expand their lead over Arkansas

Oh that and I need a Florida win for the ever popular drinking money!! Oh look at those tricky Razorbacks coming out with a short kick to start the second half -- look a live blog.

UPDATE: Florida wins its 7th SEC Title I won in the immortal words of Randy Moss straight cash homie

Tune into Fox tomorrow night to find out where the chips fell, all we currently know is that the road to Glendale is no longer paved with Trojans.

I will set the early line on tOSU - 10 v. UF, o/u at 46. You heard it hear first folks.

WHERE IS ERIN ANDREWS?!?!?!? I am really upset about that, she is very easy on my eyes

Thanks Deadspin

I knew MJD and the fine commenter folks over at Deadpsin would be able to answer my question. Much thanks and appreciation.

"Maybe someone out there can help with this question: In the Nissan commercials for the Heisman, I know what all the things chasing the truck correspond to a school, but what is the boulder?"

Turns out it is a "buckeye" whatever the hell that is anyways, and why we are at it, can someone tell me what a Hokie is too?

Thanks for the picture too, if you want you can go to Deadspin -- find this picture it's under Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3

Maybe I did not know that because I DISPISE tOSU, fucking criminals, like Clarrett did not have a car and hatchet prior to his freshman year; we know he had the car and hatchet when he got his goose on, but don't we all?

I would link to the post at Deadspin but I do not have time to figure out how to work the hyperlink in blogger beta, I knew I should not have switched over from the alpha dog. DAMMIT

Back to my exiciting paper on Donald Fehr, all we were told was 10-12 pages, grad school rocks!

Oh and GO SC win by 20 and and over of 42, it's all about the drinking money. We already have a Wake win and just need a UF win to win that parlay!!

Speaking of a Wake Forest win, anyone want to buy some Orange Bowl tickets? I have them in the endzone, section 126 and 131.

Happy Friday

Enjoy your weekend, live it up, I will be finishing a ten page paper on Donald Fehr, Executive Director of the Major League Baseball Players Association --- needless to say my weekend will be sober until I finish.

I would like everyone to welcome Tiffany to EPS Knows, she has been a Ben-Gal for two years now and is currently studying at Cincinnati State. Her goals are to finish college and make it to the Pro Bowl, let us all keep our fingers crossed!



ROAR!

Santa Con - 05

Everyone gather around and sit in a circle while I tell you a tale of one of the bestest events of the year. Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you Santa Con, the bar crawl where everyone dresses up in Christmas and other holiday attire and goes bar to bar to bar to bar to bar to bar to bar to bar... you get the picture.


(leaving the first bar)

Meet this years Santa Con Master of Ceremony's Josh -- Oh and everyone give him a round of applause, he is getting married, way to go!


You see a few years ago Mat (who is traveling through Southeast Asia currently, somthing about Mark Foley and a love for boys) and Josh who is in charge this year came across Santa Con while traveling through the Northeast, Boston I belive. So everyone dresses up like Santa or in the case of yours truely a dreidel and you bar crawl.

(on the way to the trolley heading to the fifth bar)

Santa Con 2006 is Saturday December 9 which is perfect because that is the last day of my winter term class which means the dreidel will be spinning again!!

(fourth bar)





You see there were all sorts of Santa’s, we had Bandito Santa, Vato Santa, Cuban Santa (raft included) and so many more






(fourth bar)



Here is my costume after a solid 12 hours of captain. By the way, the dreidel was not too popular in Lake Worth, but boy oh boy when you bring 30 Santa’s into a restaurant on Palm Beach people freak out, but then they see the soothing sight of a dreidel and the whole place sings the dreidel song.

(Mat & Josh's house the morning after)

Happy Friday

I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving. I will have stories later in the week; let us just say just because it is a self-cleaning oven does not mean you should leave the excess grease when you cycle the oven to self-clean.

Enjoy the clip, good luck with your gambling and drinking. FYI, I broke my cold streak yesterday and won $50. Yep here we go, I can feel it. I'm coming back!!!

59-15, Not too shabby

I do not know what to write, words are spinning through my head at a whirlwind pace. Larry Coker has been fired at The U. He is no longer the Head Coach of a football program that won 5 national titles in less then 20 years and should have won more. Fucking tOSU in 2002 and the late flag.

What irritates me the most right now is that Paul Dee just said in the press conference that the players have not been notified. Paraphrasing here, after the game last night since it was a holiday the players have gone home. News flash, the majority of the players come from the greater Miami Area. It is not too far. They are going to have a team meeting next week. This is bush league!

To fire a man who has been nothing but class in a classless way is pathetic. Donna Shalala former Secretary of Health & Human Services under President Clinton has taken the easy way out. To fire a man whose first loss came in the 2002 National Title game on a disputed call to tOSU (24-1 record after two years); with a 59-15 overall record after 6 years. According to Paul Dee, the executioner, Athletic Director said that he if Miami is invited to play in a bowl game that Coker would be allowed to coach his team. AWWWWWWWWW how fucking nice of you. Hey nothing like a lame duck, just ask the President of the United States if he can have his balls back when Congress reconvenes in January.

I wish you well Larry, you have been a great coach and with this year helped to guide the team when extraordinary circumstances arose. This is no way to go out, you should have been given the opportunity to reload. I understand that firing the majority of the coaching staff after last years debauckle in the Peach bowl was probably your last chance and you have been dead man walking since the Louisville loss.

P.S., I hope the do not bring in Barry Alverez. Give us someone who knows the area's coaches. We do not need the nation’s number one prep QB, see Kyle Wright. We need an offensive line. The future looks bright for the U and it will be.

Thanks again. God speed and good luck on your job search. We have this nice parting gift of a $3 million buyout for you.

Who wants one?

The gamble paid off that is really all this was; one big gamble buy low sell high. After one and a half hours waiting at Toys R Us and then having the air let out of us, then seeing people at the Sony store in Boca and feeling defeated IT'S ALL MINE, ALL FUCKING MINE. HOOOOORRRRRRAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Steve and I found them online last night. In retrospect I should have ordered more then one, like 5 that would have been hella sweet. But I have one and that is really all that matters.

HEY SUPPLY, MEET DEMAND!!

I HAVE A PLAY STATION 3. I PAID $724 INCLUDING SHIPPING. I WILL HAVE IT IN MY GREDDY LITTLE HANDS BY DECEMBER 1. PLENTY OF TIME TO SELL IT FOR CHANUKKA,HANUKA, CHRISTMAS OR SOME OTHER PAGAN HOLIDAY.

Happy Friday

And the winner is Demand

Just in case you live under a rock you might not beaware that the famed PlayStation 3 comes out Friday, November 17. Well this is a story of supply and demand. It was decided a few months ago that we should camp out in order to get in line so we could purchase a few in order to make a profit on the resale. Yeah, so I am here at home writing as opposed to sitting in line drinking.

We started doing our recon work Monday, we had an source at the Best Buy in Boca who was going to tell us when people started lining up. Kroll could not take the no hearing anything so he drove over Monday night and saw people were in line, nothing like a phone call at 1 am and hearing there are people in line. So the stores in Boca were out so that left it up to me to find the stores in Boynton. I came through, no lines at the Circuit City or Best Buy Wednesday morning, but no one could get off Wednesday as well.



So I checked the stores at 10 am, and guys who live in their parent's basement were first lined up at Best Buy, but no one was at Circuit City! So I checked after lunch and more people were at Best Buy and there were a handful at Circuit City. And the lines kept growing and growing and tents sprang up...but I found a beacon of light, a four legged sunbeam of triump with no lines.



So myself, Kroll and Lowry met up with our cars filled to the brim with supplies at 5 AM at the aformentioned Toys R Us. No one in the parking lot, no lines! My quick canopy, chairs, ipod, coolers filled with


But the PlayStation gods had something else in mind for us, I recieved some bad information when I went inside the Shining Ray of Light Wednesday night and spoke to the woman in electronics. I was told they would be getting 10 additional ones besides the pre-orders. UGH!!! So we set up shop and started drinking by 5:45AM and were throwing the football around 7ish when we were greated by the Manager. He asked what we were doing, we said waiting to get the PS3 then we were informed that they were not getting any additional ones in.

But there is a New Hope (yeah STAR WARS KICKS ASS!), there is a store not letting you line up prior to midnight tonight. So we will make one last stand.

Oh and a bit of information, the Circuit City's in Sarasota only got about 25 total PS3's. Best Buy is FUCKED, they guaranteed a mininum of 25. Want to know why I know they are fucked? Because the 20 gig base model PS3 was not shipped, there was a "glitch" So of the 400,000 that were to be shipped roughly 300,000 are shipped througout the US.

Ah, the principle of Supply and Demand. I love capitalism!!!

There are now 2238 pre-sale PS3's on EBay for over $3,000.00

Who wants some fried chicken?

Land of the lost...

Jordan had some tickets to the Dolphins game against the Chiefs (13-10 Fins) so there are 4 of us at the game, fucking hot. Just replace milk with margarita; I even have the red beard too.



I bet you are wondering why I have the post titled "Land of the lost..." well my friends let me tell you there are two places to park at Dolphins Stadium. Inside the main gate where they have grass and rows or you can park on the other side of the tracks, where there are no palm trees or grassy areas.

Inside the main gate you have scantily clad attractive women and lots of tailgating, this is where you want to be, they have tv's tents, beer & brats. We had a large cooler and a tent, but we were on the otherside of the tracks. People park there and walk inside the main gate to party with the privilaged. And while drinking your attention is drawn to the people around you, I wanted to gouge my eyes out. IT WAS HORRIBLE.

But what truely matters about the game is what Peter and I rented, the COOLEST invention ever especially when you are at a game that is lets say, not so interesting and you have money riding on others. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Kangaroo TV!!!



It is a mini tv with Directv, you get the NFL Directv expirience, including the Redzone channel and live up to the minute stats. Words can not describe how cool it is.

Bastards took my drinking money!

Just wanted to say FUCK YOU to Ohio State, nope, I refuse to put "the" in front of your name. To me you are just Ohio State.

Jim Tressel you are a fucktard. Why do you punt every possession in the second half last week versus Illinois and score no points yet this week, you put up 40 on Northwestern?

Yes, the other teams I had in my parlay did what they were supposed to do, they beat the spread or covered depending on what they were supposed to do, yet OSU decided to close the play book and go 3 and out on all possessions.

Thanks for costing me the 3 bills I should have won. Oh and you owe me a new remote for my cable box, it hit the wall because you are a FUCKTARD.

Oh and Bobby Patrino you thought I was going to not say fuck you to you as well?!?!?! Seriously the mighty Louisville offense was held to 53 total yards in the second half versus Rutgers Thursday night, not too mention ZERO points. Way to go!!! Cost me my Friday night drinking money!!!

And Frank Beamer at your Virginia Tech Hokies, WHAT THE FUCK IS A HOKIE????!?!?! Four trips into the redzone today versus Kent State and 3 field goals, you suck too. All Kent State can do is not get out of the way of National Guard troops during the 1960s. Where is "Beamer ball" ?!?!?! As I type this you have 11 minutes left to score 9 points, think you ladies can do that?

You all suck monkey nuts, what am I supposed to do, now that you fuckers cost me my drinking money?

Baby I can change...

Oh baby, I can change, I promise I will write more I swear!

Sorry about the lack of posting, I wish I could have this cool excuse, story for my lack of loquacious and verbose writing but I really do not. I have just been lazy, not lazy Sunday lazy, just lazy enough not to write to you.

Well, let us recap what has happened since I last wrote…

• There was the scuffle at the OB where Ned went out on his crutches.
• The Cardinals won the World Series and now thank God we do not have to listen to Tim McCarver for another 6 months.
• Ohio State sucked ass against Illinois in the second half --- PUNT EVERY POSSESION – fuckers cost me some cake.
• Fantasy Fest came and went and I know how I promised pictures and stories, well I did not make it. Everyone bailed and I was not going to split the suite for 3 nights totaling $800 and then shell out for fun – no I’m not cheap, I am fiscally responsible.
• Oh, that last one reminds me, for the first time since 1994, the Democrats are now in control of Congress and Rummy is out. Hmmm I wonder if he would have stayed as Secretary of Defense had the Country not wanted a change. Just something to ponder.

I have just been working during the day, going to the Wishing Well a few nights a week and working on my Masters.

I promise, if you take me back I will post from once to three times a week. Baby I can change, I know I can; you complete me.

Yeah, I know I had you at hello.

And knowing is half the battle

Well I just heard an interesting statistic - Joe Gibs is now 0-6 when his team plays week 1 on Monday Night Football. Remember knowing is half the battle.

Just an FYI if the Skins play on Monday Night next year for week one.

Week 2 Last Man Standing pick: Colts --- it is ok to go with them when it is not a pressure situation or you see a lot of this...

Pick the Colts in January and you are a

And no one wants to be a clown.